9/05/2010

I Will Never Tell...

anyone to watch "The Backup Plan." It is a really really bad movie. I mean, I know that I should have known that since it was starring Jennifer Lopez but I gave it a chance anyways. It's got the woman who's tired of waiting on "The One" so she decides to get inseminated and have a baby on her own. There's the best friend who has 4 kids already and hates motherhood, trying to convince her not to have a baby. There is the guy who she hates at first and then decides that despite her hatred for him, she'll hang out with him and finally agree to a date. They went on their date, which was over-the-top romantic in a way that would never happen in real life - candle lit dinner in a private garden..which of course goes awry when he leans over the table to kiss her and spills wine on her new dress and knocks over candles and lights the table on fire. Then she grabs a hose to put the fire out (tripping clumsily on the way) and sprays him in the process of putting the fire out. That, of course!, leads to their first kiss. Oh...did I mention she took a pregnancy test before she went on this date but her dog ate it so she didn't know if she was knocked up or not? But...clearly her dog would throw up the pregnancy test as soon as she got home from her date. Yes, of course she was pregnant! Why would you guess otherwise?!?!?
She is now on their second date and as she is pulling up to his farm, he's riding a tractor shirtless. Obviously, she got distracted by his ripped, muscular, sweaty body (because of course he looks like that, doesn't everyone!!) and she crashes into a tree. Can this get any worse? Why am I still watching? Why are you still reading?? Well, you made it this far, might as well keep on. Oh did I mention her handicapped dog that she bought from a breeder. It basically fell apart due to the inbreeding so it now uses a doggy wheelchair...wheelcart...
Oh right, and they just had sex for the first time (on their second date, mind you!) and she threw up immediately afterwards. Then tells him she's pregnant. He freaks out (a normal reaction, if you ask me) and when she tries to leave, he gets upset that she's leaving because there is more to say on the subject and suddenly he's not upset about her being pregnant anymore. Ok...I won't bore you with this horrid movie anymore. I'm going to continue to torture myself with it but I am going to go out on a limb and say they reconcile, live happily ever after on his farm, raising her sperm baby....just a guess though! You'll have to watch yourself to find out for sure.

No comments: