*ahhhh* refreshing!

Fish shaped ice makes kool-aid delicious!

Yes We Are THAT Type of Family...

So I'm up in Ohio, we are having a mini family reunion of sorts. Tomorrow my brother, his girlfriend, my mom, aunt and uncle (and me!) will go to Cedar Point to man up (most of us...ahem, no name's mentioned Kevin) and ride some awesome roller coasters! I'm excited...K, H and I went 2 years ago and only made it through half the park. It was so much fun, I'm excited to try the other half plus re-ride some of the ones we already rode!
Today...so far I have finished my crappy crappy horrible historical romance "The Wicked Lover"....yeah it really was as bad as it sounded. I can now say that I've read a romance novel and am not a fan of them! I also learned about "the neighborhood" which includes: the med students, a stripper, domestic violence couple, Ed, and verbal abuse couple. Sounds like an interesting place! My bro is out mowing the grass and soon we will head to Meijer, the mid-west equivalant of a not-so-evil Wal-Mart. Later on is a Toledo MudHens game where we will meet The Incredible Hulk and have the chance for a free hair cut AND an offer for a credit card that comes with a free hat...tempting stuff! If only we had time to fit in a trip to the Beef Jerky Superstore...


an interesting eventful day...

So as some of you may know I am in search of a job...things are getting just a little desperate over here so I'm branching out from just the dental hygiene jobs. I went to the mall today, sure that I could get a job...after all I'm 26 and bound to be more dependable than the teenagers looking for summer jobs. I swear if I heard one more time "we're accepting applications" I was going to punch somebody...in their bad eye! Seriously, I asked if you were hiring, not if you were taking applications. It does not help me to waste my time filling out an application if you are not hiring for another couple months. So I finally got an interview at Dilliards...ok, fair enough. They were willing to break their hiring freeze for the right person. That's me, right? Or so I thought until they asked "Who's your favorite designer?" F*ck! I don't even know. (No that was not my answer...well, it was my answer, minus the F word)...blew that one. Feeling quite beaten down and discouraged that I couldn't even land a mall job I decided to subject myself to yet more torture and drop off some resumes at dental offices.
The first one I went in search of was on Egret Lane...hmmm, ok not a main road but I'll go search it out. It was a neighborhood. They directed me to a dentist house. I should have walked up to the door and said my little spiel...but I thought that might get the cops called on me so I kept driving.
The next one I went to had someone sitting in a chair and swiveled so I could only see the side of their face. They were leaned back (not towards the computer) with their arms crossed in front of them...they appeared to be sleeping...or dead...hmmm. Not the type of office I want to work in if you can sleep (or die) in the reception area.
Onward I went...one place said "Oh maybe he can use you one day a week" (sweet, it's better than the no days a week I'm working now). They said they'll call. The next place said "Oh we received like 5 of these just today. But no we aren't hiring right now. However all of our hygienists are pregnant, plus one assistant, plus the doctor's wife...so maybe in a few months" (ummm...not sure I want to work there if you end up pregnant. Definitely not drinking their water!) Finally at the last place I went, I knew the receptionist so I bullied my way into an interview....hopefully that will pan out but I'm not too hopeful because I don't think they'll pay me but half of what I should be making (and yes, I know that's still more than what I'm making now but I said the range I was looking for...so we'll see if they counter-offer). But at least the last few places I went didn't have dead/sleeping people in the waiting area so that's an improvement.



Fox is starting a new reality series "More To Love" featuring a large and lovable single guy who is looking for love (and ready to star on a new prime time relationship show). Supposedly the show is about "embracing and loving yourself no matter your shape or size." Well Fox...let me tell you, it doesn't sound like you are embracing my size or shape because a requirement for dating this guy is that you have to be curvy! I am not curvy but why should that stop me from dating a big guy? Hmmmm???? Also, why do all of the questions on the application ask about if weight has been an issue...why are you making weight such an issue? Hmmmm????
And yes, of course I'm going to tune in. Don't be silly...I've already written you into my planner! But I'll be sitting on my couch shoveling in popcorn and ice cream so I can get on next season...


An Eventful Evening

So I headed out with a friend in search of a peach milkshake. First stop: Hardee's....now I SWEAR that when I went by Hardee's in Fayetteville there was a big ol' sign that said "Try our Peach milkshake" Well, this one in Charleston has Orange Cream. I think they didn't get the memo from corporate that it's supposed to be peach. But whatever. Onward to Chick-Fil-A..."Welcome to Chick-Fil-A. Can I take your order?" "Yes, I'd like a #1 with no pickles, add cheese and on a wheat bun. And can I have a peach milkshake instead of a drink?" "Our ice cream machine is down..." What the! Don't make me start cussing at you woman...just the other day your grill was down, does anything work at your store? "Nevermind...forget the whole order" Onward to the next Chick-Fil-A...and there is the longest line EVER considering that it was 9:30 at night, seriously. Where were there 15 cars in the drive-thru? I counted...15, yeah...15! But the peach milkshake was worth the hour adventure...not sure if the friend agreed. Pretty sure he wanted to shoot me when I wouldn't get a milkshake at Hardee's...but he loves me so he let me have my way!



So MB considers me the crazy one...I normally am the one to blurt out things that I don't really mean and say things in anger. Never in my life have I ever said anything as hateful as either of these things!

-I hope he gets in an accident and you have to watch him die.
-I hope you get HIV and it develops into AIDS and you die a slow, humiliating, painful death.

Not a good thing to say to someone while you are trying to convince them date you again.... (and no, these were not said to me...I don't think anyone hates me that much!)



I have my license...well, not in hand, but according to online it has been issued which means it should be in the mail! I should have it within a week (I hope...)


A normal comparison

Bambi's mother is shot to death, leaving him stuck with his cold, absentee dad. You know who else that happened to? FIFTY CENT.



So Neighbor and I got into a conversation about the type of vibe I give off to guys. The only type of guys who are interested in me are dirty, loser druggies. Now that is not the type of guy I would like to date...I'd be perfectly satisfied with a nice guy but nice guys just don't like me. Thinking back over the years....every nice guy since high school that I have liked has not liked me. Why is that? What kind of vibe do I give off that says "Nice guys stay away. Losers only!" Is there a post-it note on my back with that printed on it? Who stuck it there and when can I beat them up? Neighbor said that I do not give off a skanky vibe...but she's a girl, can she really sense that? So I'm going to badger her husband today and make him tell me...do I give off a skanky vibe? I surely don't try! I'd like to give off the "i'm a nice, sweet girl...but I'm lots of fun to hang out with" vibe. That's what Neighbor gets from me, but again, she's a girl, what does she know? Seriously...I don't go over the top with my makeup, clothes are never skin-tight/painted-on look, I gave up the Mariah Carey jeans years ago (Neighbor thinks that was drug-induced and I'll admit it was NOT a good look) my haircut is cute and slightly stylish, I don't get overly drunk very often, i've never gone home from the bar with a guy, I don't own clothes with words printed across my butt...so where is this skank vibe coming from?


Drum Roll Please!

So here it is, the long awaited story written by yours truly. I was cleaning up and came across it and remembered that people (my ma) had been after me to post it on here. If ya really like it, I could bring my puppets and do it in person...it's much better with sound effects!

Once upon a time there was a boy named Phillip. In Phillip's mouth, he had 3 little molars. The first molar liked to eat candy, cake & chips. The second little molar loved to drink soda & Kool-Aid. The third molar was very into organic food and he preferred apples, carrots, and broccoli. He also loved to drink water.

One day, a big bad bacteria bug got into Phillip's mouth. He went to the first molar and said "Molar, Molar give me some sugar!" The molar was very frightened and said "N-n-n-no!" But since the molar was so weak from only eating candy, cake & chips, the bacteria took all his sugar and left the molar with a big hole.

Next the bacteria went to the second molar and said "Molar, Molar give me some sugar!" The second molar was very frightened and said "N-n-n-no!" But the molar was so weak from only drinking soda & Kool-Aid that the bacteria took all his sugar and left the molar with a big hole.

Finally the bacteria went to the third molar and said "Molar, Molar give me some sugar!" The third molar was very brave and said "No bacteria! Get out of here!" He was very strong from eating the apples, carrots, broccoli and water. This time it was the bacteria who was scared. The bacteria ran far, far away, right out of Phillip's mouth.

Since two of Phillip's molars had big holes in them, Phillip went to see his dentist. The dentist worked very hard and filled the holes. When they left the dentist, the molars were very clean and sparkly. The 2 molars who liked sugar so much decided to give fruits and vegetables a try. They found that they liked them just as much as the sugary food and the 3 little molars lived happily in Phillip's mouth forever!



So I just watched "He's Just Not That Into You." I'm just not into that movie. It was totally unrealistic. They talk about whether you are the exception or the rule...but why did 4/5 guys end up happy and in a relationship (or an implied relationship) by the end of the movie? That sure makes it seem like the rule. I thought it was crap. That's all I have to say about that.

Hi I'm Kristin and I'm addicted to Farmtown

So my friend got me started on this silly little game on Facebook called Farmtown. You get a farm and you have to plow fields, plant crops, harvest them, sell them...you can plant trees, get animals, beautify your farm. You do all this to earn money to do it some more. I do it for the experience points though...I want to get to level...well I don't know the highest level but I want to get there. Unfortunately you have to wait for your crops to grow so you can't rise to the top too quickly. (We've all seen child actors, rising to the top too quickly can only lead to drugs and drinking) Anyways, the fact that I woke up at 6 am and decided "I could go back to sleep...or I could go check on my crops, I bet some need harvested" Yeahhhhhhh....I've got a problem. I need a Farmtown intervention.


Imaginations running a little wild!

K: So the idea behind the golden birthday is you turn x years old on the xth day of the month...mine is this year.I'm 27 on the 27th
J: oooh neato sad...i already had mine....and i didnt know it
K: I know! And so it should be really special...yeah it is kinda sad for you
J: i should get a redo
K: ha...what's your redo?
J: lets celebrate my 16th bday next week! i will be one of the skanky girls that gets prego at 16 and then pretends to still be a normal teenager
K: or you could do it when you're 61 and pretend to be dyslexic!
J: i'll get dirty looks from old people
K: haha, ohhhh...that could be fun!
J: what could we do to celebrate
K: wait...your skanky redo or my real awesome one?
J: i guess your real one, i dont want to be a skanky 16 year old
K: lol...well I could tell you about my dream golden party...but it's very unrealistic
J: well tell me and then we can just pretend we did it and we will talk like.....hey remember taht time we did this? that was awesome! people will be so jealous even though it wasnt real
K: haha, ok that sounds like a great plan but do we have to wait until after the 27th to talk about it?
J: ok
K: so anyways, you guys (as in all wilkie's)and mary beth and casey and rock and beth and stephen and my bro and heather and my fam and Katie and Soccer beth and some other friends would all go out to this yummy restaurant in charleston called The Fat Hen
J: sounds good already
K: I don't know what would happen after that because in reality everyone would hate each other and all would be pissy
J: aww that is sad
K: I know, it is sad!
J: maybe we could pretend to like each other for your bday
K: So we need to come up with a better ending to my pretend-golden birthday. ok...so what will we do after we eat?
J: yeah...kinda lame
K: oh!go bowling...OR even better..play blongo ball and skipbo and phase 10
J: well i was thinking we would rent a yacht and head off the coast and drink champagne ( or ginger ale) and have fireworks but card games work too
K: ohhhh....we could play card games on the yacht
J: haha
K: and actually, why don't you guys buy me the yacht for my bday present?
J: now that would be fun
K: why rent when you can buy? we'll play blongo ball on the yacht too...so it'll need to be a big one
J: good point i hope one of your friends is rich
K: hmmmm....nope, I guess you guys will have to pool all your money together. Somebody may need to be sold on the black market. Im going with Net!
J: well then it is going to be a yacht for you bathtub! no miah needs net and we love miah...and net
K: hmmm...well I want to keep miah. so guess we have to keep net too. hmmm...your brother? I don't think he'd bring in a lot of money
J: no...cuz then we would have to raise the boys
K: maybe we'll arrange a marriage for your brother then sell his new wife into the black market
J: i like it
K: me too. Let's get him somebody real pretty so we can get a GIANT yacht
J: we will order her from russia
K: they should get married in Cambodia...probably easier to do human trafficking there. ok, send her from Russia to Cambodia. that's not suspicious at all...
J: nope
K: sweet, this is going to be an awesome golden birthday!
J: for everyone but josh's bride
K: well yeah...but we probably wouldn't like her anyways