K: So the idea behind the golden birthday is you turn x years old on the xth day of the month...mine is this year.I'm 27 on the 27th
J: oooh neato sad...i already had mine....and i didnt know it
K: I know! And so it should be really special...yeah it is kinda sad for you
J: i should get a redo
K: ha...what's your redo?
J: lets celebrate my 16th bday next week! i will be one of the skanky girls that gets prego at 16 and then pretends to still be a normal teenager
K: or you could do it when you're 61 and pretend to be dyslexic!
J: i'll get dirty looks from old people
K: haha, ohhhh...that could be fun!
J: what could we do to celebrate
K: wait...your skanky redo or my real awesome one?
J: i guess your real one, i dont want to be a skanky 16 year old
K: lol...well I could tell you about my dream golden party...but it's very unrealistic
J: well tell me and then we can just pretend we did it and we will talk like.....hey remember taht time we did this? that was awesome! people will be so jealous even though it wasnt real
K: haha, ok that sounds like a great plan but do we have to wait until after the 27th to talk about it?
K: so anyways, you guys (as in all wilkie's)and mary beth and casey and rock and beth and stephen and my bro and heather and my fam and Katie and Soccer beth and some other friends would all go out to this yummy restaurant in charleston called The Fat Hen
J: sounds good already
K: I don't know what would happen after that because in reality everyone would hate each other and all would be pissy
J: aww that is sad
K: I know, it is sad!
J: maybe we could pretend to like each other for your bday
K: So we need to come up with a better ending to my pretend-golden birthday. ok...so what will we do after we eat?
J: yeah...kinda lame
K: oh!go bowling...OR even better..play blongo ball and skipbo and phase 10
J: well i was thinking we would rent a yacht and head off the coast and drink champagne ( or ginger ale) and have fireworks but card games work too
K: ohhhh....we could play card games on the yacht
K: and actually, why don't you guys buy me the yacht for my bday present?
J: now that would be fun
K: why rent when you can buy? we'll play blongo ball on the yacht too...so it'll need to be a big one
J: good point i hope one of your friends is rich
K: hmmmm....nope, I guess you guys will have to pool all your money together. Somebody may need to be sold on the black market. Im going with Net!
J: well then it is going to be a yacht for you bathtub! no miah needs net and we love miah...and net
K: hmmm...well I want to keep miah. so guess we have to keep net too. hmmm...your brother? I don't think he'd bring in a lot of money
J: no...cuz then we would have to raise the boys
K: maybe we'll arrange a marriage for your brother then sell his new wife into the black market
J: i like it
K: me too. Let's get him somebody real pretty so we can get a GIANT yacht
J: we will order her from russia
K: they should get married in Cambodia...probably easier to do human trafficking there. ok, send her from Russia to Cambodia. that's not suspicious at all...
K: sweet, this is going to be an awesome golden birthday!
J: for everyone but josh's bride
K: well yeah...but we probably wouldn't like her anyways