One More Thing...

If you've tried calling/texting/communicating with me...I'm not ignoring you. Well, I am ignoring you. But not intentionally. Well, yes intentionally. Since I look at my phone when it's ringing and I choose not to answer it, I suppose that is intentionally ignoring you. But here's the thing: I'm barely holding on right now. I'm trying to maintain a not dismal disposition and not dwell on the fact that I'm going to be alone forever - but when people ask a simple question such as "How are you?", "Are you ok?", etc....I lose it. I want to cry because the truth is no, right now I'm not. Well, actually right now I feel pretty good, I even have a half smile on my face. But when that question is posed to me...it reminds me that I'm not so good. However...I will be fine, I just need a day or two or five to adjust to the fact that I got blown off yet again and that I was wrong about the spineless firefighter (not to be confused with the creepy firefighter who I was just reading about on my blog from when I first moved here and it made me giggle.). Plus there's some other stuff, just general life stuff, that I'm not thrilled about right now but that's what my plan of action is for!! Stuff that was bothering me but I was able to brush it aside because of the spineless firefighter....toss him into the mix and it all just got a little overwhelming for a bit. I'll be fine.