mergh

Well today went better than yesterday. I made it out of my pajamas today. Yesterday was rough....but today was better and tomorrow should be better after that right? I just want to know why. Was I really that wrong in reading him? I honestly truly thought he liked me...a lot. It sucks to think I am that bad at reading people. I never expected the firefighter to become the spineless firefighter. He just hit on the one (ha!) insecurity that I had - being blown off. Which he did. As did the guy before. And the guy before that. Now the original guy - I may have played a big part in that. The second guy? Meh...I was upset at first but no big deal now. This one? Devastation. Which may seem silly after such a short time but as I said, I really thought he liked me. Plus it's the third time in a row. I'm starting to take it personally now.
Anyways, this is not a completely mopey blog today. Although my immune system is feeling about as dejected as I am. I almost threw up on a patient today. (This will sound racist...it's not) She smelled like foreign food. I don't know what nationality she was. She told me she didn't speak English although she was speaking limited English to the dentist. She wouldn't even try with me. She also wouldn't let me lean her back so I had to do her cleaning with her sitting pretty much straight up - which means I was pretty much leaned all the way over her. Achy back! All that was not the point...the point is I almost puked on her. That would've been bad. The dentist said I could go home if I was considering puking on patients but I said I thought I could make it through the day without actually doing that. (I did make it)
I am trying to come up with a plan of action. A friend of mine always told me if I wasn't happy in a situation I had two choices: a)sit around and complain about it or b)change it. I guess a little complaining is ok once in a while...but I'm going to try to be done complaining. Instead, a plan of action. I'll reveal these parts as time goes by but part 1 is to get my student loans down to $10,000. Initially I said $15,000 but guess what? They are at $16,800 right now! Which means $15k is way to easy of a goal. $10k will be hard but I think I can do it. I want to have it down to $10k by mid-August, so 8 months from now. Which means $850 a month or $425 per paycheck period. That pretty much means that my perio paycheck will go to the student loan every time and my general paycheck will go to my bank account. I think this is completely do-able.