I wonder....

I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. Here are some things I wonder:
 - would I be happy living in a small town? I like living here. It's fun. However...I don't really go out all that often so I'm not taking advantage of the night life (it is nice to have options though). It's cold. If I moved to a small town in NC, it wouldn't be nearly so cold. I guess I knew moving here that it would be cold. But it's really cold. I like being able to have food delivered to my house...I'm all about some grubhub. So that much is really convienent. But I went to culinary school...I should cook more anyways. I wonder if I moved to a small town in NC would I expect my life to be just like a Nicholas Sparks novel? I do love me some N.S....but expecting to move there and the man of my dreams is living next door and then my abusive ex-husband shows up and burns down our house and our dog dies trying to save me...well, it's all a bit unrealistic isn't it? (I may be mixing up books there...)

- Did I completely misread the firefighter guy? I never updated you from our date. It was..in one word? amazing. He was amazing. I never expected to be able to completely connect with someone upon first sight. But it was just natural. Ok, maybe the first 3 minutes were a little awkward. But after that? Smooth sailing. He ended up coming with me to game night (my out in case he was really lame) and it went really well. He invited me to the firehouse the next night because he told his firefighting buddies about me and they wanted to meet me..so off I went. I was a little disappointed that they all wore their shirts and didn't have Taylor Lautner's abs...but what can you do? (Sad that when I think sexy abs, I think Twilight?? yes.) Then the next night he picked me up, we went to dinner and a comedy show. Yes, that's a lot of hanging out real quick like...but it just felt...right. Then things got busy and it was like a week and a half before I could see him again. So that felt like it slowed things down a bit....but when we had trouble finding a time for both of us? He offered to bring lunch to my work so that he could see me...even if just for 30 minutes and sitting in the break room at work. We ended up running to the mexican place a few doors down (not good mexican, serious disappointment) and it was a good refresher to see him in the middle of a hectic work day although I can't say going back in to work was very easy. Then....the holidays. The timing couldn't have been worse! I was busy the week my mom was here. He was busy the week after while his kids were here. We texted a little...and then the conversations seemed to become a little less...flowable. Maybe it's because things got so busy. I don't know. I think I messed it up though...not because of the holidays but because of my big mouth, my desire to be the center of everyone's universe (I'm used to being indulged on this front...or at least being led to believe I'm being indulged), and my impatience (shocking, I know.) So we'll see over the next few days. I'm not an idiot. He likes (ed?) me. He really likes(d?) me. How did it go so wrong? Oh right...me.

- If I moved back to Charleston, could I pick back up at my old life? I know my old job would hire me back if there was an opening...but would there be an opening? Could I go back to coaching? Would I be happy injecting myself back into that environment? Or would it run it's course and have me right back to what brought me to Chicago in the first place?

- Why are the girls at my job so drama-focused? Sheesh. I guess when you put 20ish women in one building, girls will fight...but really? I think it's stupid. I overheard two girls talking about me today. I'm not overly worried about it...but I COULD HEAR YOU! It's rude. I didn't necessarily understand what they were saying...just that I was "just standing in the hallway." Yes, I was just standing. Because I was waiting on the doctor and visually willing him from outside his doorway to come do my exam. He came out just a few minutes later so clearly it worked. I wasn't just standing. Sheesh. This is the same girl who asked me to empty my 1/4 full trash can the other day. That was a stupid request so I told her no. It was only 1/4 full and the gloves were out of it. (The gloves can't be recycled so the trash has to be sorted thru.) Then today, they really hate this girl that works at the front desk. I heard the trash girl (appropriate!) say she doesn't even say hi to her because the girl is so stupid. Seriously. Can't. even. say. hello. I told her I thought that was really rude and can't imagine how the girl must feel. But apparently she locked herself in the bathroom crying because they were mean. Seems a bit of overkill to lock ones' self in the bathroom at work. But they can be really mean.

- I'll end this on a funny story though. Well, not so much funny, but it made me laugh pretty hard. I was sitting in the breakroom when the crying girl (not crying at the time) buzzed back and asked if anyone had ordered Chinese food. We all said no and looked around, wondering who ordered it. She then said he was asking for "U". U looked confused and said I didn't order Chinese food. Then it dawned on her. Crying girl is not real smart. She saw a Chinese guy with food and assumed he was delivering Chinese food. And then said as much right in front of him!! It was funny. Really funny. As I said, she's not the brightest...