Differences

I knew my roommates and I are different. This is one instance:

Me: (enter house)
E: (putting away dishes)
Me: Oh man, I don't know what's happening today. Do I look different? Something must be different.
E: (looks me over) Nope, you look the same.
Me: I was walking down Randolph and a bus pulled over and called me to the window. He asked if he could be my friend and he wanted to take me to the movies.
E: A CTA bus? Were there people on it?
Me: No, it was empty but the bus was in service. It was so weird! (Obviously flattered...I mean, hello? I stopped a bus, I'm so awesome!)
E: You should report him. (Entirely serious.)

Then...
Me: Oh I'm having a couple girls over tomorrow night. I have a Stitch Fix coming tomorrow and need some opinions. You are welcome to hang out with us.
E: Oh, thanks but I have dinner plans.
Me: Ooooh! A date? (The other roommate and I have reason to believe she may have a secret boyfriend...)
E: No, just friends. So, better than a date because I know I'll have a good time.
Me: True. Except you have to pay with friends....oh wait, you offer to split the check anyways, guess it works out the same either way.
E: Yeah, I always pay. Unless the guy is really old-fashioned and insists, but I'm uncomfortable with it.
Me: Yeah, not me.
E: I mean, I've had conversations with my guy friends and they don't like it if the girl doesn't offer.
Me: Funny, I've had the same conversation with my friends - up here, all the guys expect the girl to offer. Even my southern guy friends. But in the south, I feel like it's completely normal for a girl not to offer...
E: That's why I don't live in the South. No offense.
Me: None taken (thinking she would probably not be very well received in the South. Very curt mannerisms.)
E: (starts baby talking cats about going to bed....)

You get to pick out all the differences between us in that short scenario! There are at least 3. Dishes are not one of them, har har har.