What I'm Looking For

For those of you that were worried - it's warmed up. We were at a balmy 41 today. I thought about going back up to my light weight jacket!
I'm reading the Mindy Kaling book "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)" and I came across a list of criteria for her best friends. I like the list!
BEST FRIENDS RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
-I can borrow all your clothes. Only stipulation is that you have to wear it at least once beforehand.
-We sleep in the same bed. If on a trip or boyfriends are away and the bed is bigger than a twin, we partner up.
-I must be 100% honest about hor you look, but gentle.
-I can ditch you, within reason. (i.e., prearranged ride and discussed beforehand.) However, I must talk about you a lot with the guy so he knows how much I love you.
-I will take care of your kid if you die.
-I will nurse you back to health. I will get you meds at CVS, as well as fashion magazines and the candy you like.
-We will trade off being social activities chair for outings. Neither of us gets to be the princess all the time.
-I will keep your favorite feminine hygiene product at my house.
-Same with contact solution.
-I will try to like your boyfriend 5 times.
-When I take a shower at your place, I won't drop the towel on the floor. Your home isn't a hotel.
-If you're depressed, I will be there for you. Even if depressed people are boring. I will hate it and find you really tedious but I promise I won't abandon you.
-If our phone conversation gets disconnected, there's not need to call back.
-I will hate and re-like people for you.
-It is okay to take me for granted. It hurts my feelings but it is okay. Please try to remember to text me, if you can, if you know I have something going on in my life.
-No two people are better than us. We rock. No one can beat us.

That is what I'd like with my best friend. Thanks Mindy Kaling for putting it into words! (and any potential or former best friends reading this...take note! This is what is/was expected of you AND me!)