Epic Fail

I decided to give this cooking thing another try for R. I had been eyeballing a delicious sounding recipe - Teriyaki Pork Kebabs w/Asian Rice. I didn't have the right spice mix for the asian rice so I opted for regular old rice. FAIL! Things started out well, my prep was all done & the kebabs were, well, kebabed. I heated up my grill pan (first fail, should have tried a regular grill but I don't have one) and put the skewer on. I brushed it with the marinade & next thing I knew, the kitchen was full of smoke. Apparently the sugar content was so high that it was burning almost on contact with the hot pan. I tossed those 3 skewers. Next attempt: I did not brush the extra marinade on - still burning so I turned down the heat. Then they just weren't cooking. I had already served him raw meat so clearly I couldn't do that again! I had tossed the remaining 3 skewers in the oven & those actually turned out pretty tasty. I abandoned the noncooking process on the grill pan & put the semi-burnt raw meat in the oven. The skewers that turned out were tasty - teriyaki pork, red & green bell peppers & pineapple.
The rice? Big epic major fail. I shouldn't be allowed to cook rice anymore. I took the lid off the pot to a swirling of smoke...not a good sign. I put some rice in a bowl to the overwhelming odor of smoke...not a good sign. I tasted the rice & felt like I was eating a cigarette....not a good sign. I advised R that we should just go out to eat but he wouldn't hear of it. I begged him to let me make a frozen pizza but he wouldn't hear of it. I forced him to eat a mouthful of smoky rice & he insisted that it was fine (as long as you don't breathe in while eating it...that means not fine!!). He said it was really good...but I'm fairly sure he was lying.
I don't know why I cannot cook for this boy. I swear...maybe next time I'll get it right...maybe. Or he'll stop saying he wants to come over for dinner. He's sweet for eating my cooking failures though. :)