Um, I'm Busy - I'll Be Washing My Hair

So I went out with the Slashie (whose real name I have forgotten...oops!) last night - I know! I said I wasn't going to waste my time but I beat off all the other guys who were knocking down my door and met up with him for Happy Hour. Now he quasi asked me out last week...but not really. He asked what I was up to that night and I said the gym but not much else. Apparently that was my invite? This time he asked if I still wanted to meet up. If I was totally pumped to go to the gym he'd understand. This guy has A LOT to learn if he thinks I'm ever pumped to go to the gym! Back to the invite - he wanted to meet up at the Recovery Room....yeah from what I understand it's about as dirty as it sounds. I had my heart set on some Mexican though so I texted him asking to get Mexican first, then maybe we can go to the Rec Room afterwards. Seemed like a good compromise to me and he said that sounded good.
I arrive at Santi's 20 minutes late - not my fault! I forgot there would be so much traffic at that time and I got lost (What? It's confusing coming from that direction!). He was sitting at the bar so I joined him there and ordered a drink. It came and The Slashie asked if I wanted to stay sitting there or move to a table or outdoors. I didn't much care one way or the other so when he said he wanted to go outside I was fine with it. It was surprisingly not THAT hot (maybe like 90) so we get out there and get a table in the corner...unfortunately it was the corner that EVERY FLY IN THE WORLD LIVED IN! Seriously...there were too many to count. It was horrible. Now I will recognize that the fly problem was not his fault - I'll admit that...but that's the end of what is not his fault! So the conversation was a little forced but overall not that bad. He got up to go to "the little boy's room" (I HATE when people say that.). Then he ordered a ginormous beer, quite possibly the largest beer I've ever seen. *side note - the largest beer ever didn't bother me but I felt it deserved a mention in that it was like the size of a roll of paper towels w/a handle on it!* He then got up again to go to "the little boy's room" (ugh!) and I realized...he is SO bowlegged. Like, he was wearing shorts and had really skinny legs and they were so bowed I could throw a basketball through them. Dude! Oh yeah and he's wearing gym shoes. With a non-matching outfit. Like he tried to match it but it really didn't...maybe if you squinted it matched? I didn't try that. To make matters worse, on this second trip to the restroom, he turned, pointed, & winked saying "Can I get you another drink?" I'm pretty sure he made the clicker noise with the point/wink move but he was far enough away I didn't get to hear it. Not to mention we had a server at our table who could bring me another drink. Maybe it's hard to shake the waiter out of him??
Shortly after all this I go to the restroom and when I get back he has gotten our checks. Yes, plural. He got us seperate checks. Really? I mean, I kinda figured going into this that it was going to happen but I really hoped for his sake that he wasn't going to go down like that...but he did. We paid and sat there for a few more minutes talking and...wait for it..here it comes...he said he had to go home so he wouldn't be up all night doing laundry. I got dissed for laundry! On a side note I think that may actually have been true since he texted me about an hour later and said he had a really good time.
I feel bad for the guy because my last first date was so exceptionally good(amazing dinner, conversation, really bad pool, probable drug funding, Hell's Angel's...sounds bad, surprisingly good) that this guy had some stiff competition....but he failed miserably. This was exceptionally bad! And even worse - he caters (by caters I mean delivers) food to 2 of the offices I work in on a fairly regular basis so I will be seeing him again.