Fitness Class

Here It is....

Good News/Bad News!

Good News: I didn't run anyone over on the drive home today.
Bad News: I didn't have a monster truck to crunch over people in their cars and hear their bones crackle and snap.

It's That Time...

The long trek home is about to begin. If I get home before midnight, I'll post more...but since I have no idea how bad traffic will be, this is a precautionary post. Stay tuned for my new weekly edition of Good News/Bad News!

I was an odd kid...

So my mom made me go through some of my old stuff from growing up since my aunt is moving and is cleaning out her attic and my mom doesn't have room in her place. I found some old papers that I had to write for school and they made me laugh. Seriously...what kind of imagination did I have?

How Hershey Chocolate Syrup Came To Be
After a long dya, Susie came home and poured herself a tall glass of milk. Afterwards, she had an awful aftertaste, so she searched and searched for something to make it taste better. After looking for more than 30 minutes, her mind was exhausted. She had tried 27 different concoctions, but the one that tasted best was mixing in a bar of Hershey's chocolate. However, no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't mix all the way. There were little chunks of unmixed chocolate everywhere.
Baffled, she went to her grandma, and begged her to help with the problem. After Susie had gone to school the next day, her grandma was eating one of the extra Hershey bars. When she was savoring the taste on her tongue, out popped her dentures! Embarrased, she spit the chewed up chocolate into a nearbyy glass of milk. The chocolate mixed right into the milk! Amazed, she left her dentures out and gummed up some more chocolate. It worked! All day long, the grandma gummed and spit, gummed and spit. When Susie got home, she had at least 17 bottles of syrup.
Now, there are factories full of toothless old people, mixing up syrup for a tall refreshing glass of chocolate milk.

Happy Eating!

Happy Thanksgiving all you lovely readers. Hope you had some delicious turkey/stuffing/sweet potatoes/mashed potatoes/green jello marshmallow salad/whatever else you may eat!
There is always next week to start rehab :)

AND because everyone loves a good turkey story:



Woman Seeks Donations for Turkey Eye Surgery
Posted Nov 26th 2009 2:00PM by Sandy Maple

Filed under: Weird

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Jerry the turkey can't see to fly. Photo: jeniphur99/Flickr
While most of us are busy planning the seasonings, stuffings, and sides we will enjoy with our turkeys, a Massachusetts woman is making plans of a different kind for her turkey. Lyndsey Medeiros of Rehoboth has posted an ad on Craigslist seeking cash donations to help save her pet turkey, Jerry, reports The Providence Journal's projo.com.

Jerry, a three-year-old Narraganset Turkey, was recently evaluated by a veterinary ophthalmologist at Ocean State Veterinary Specialists, who determined that the bird is most likely blind. To improve the bird's quality of life, the doctor recommended cataract surgery -- a procedure that, according to Medeiros, costs "upwards of $2600."

You might assume that someone willing to go to all this trouble to raise this kind money for a turkey is quite attached to her pet. In reality, Jerry has been a member of the Medeiros family only for about a week. He and his companion Penelope were adopted by Medeiros and her husband via a Craigslist ad posted by a woman in a nearby town whose own health prevented her from caring for the birds.

Lyndsey Medeiros is no stranger to animals in need. She and her husband own a hobby farm where, in addition to breeding Nigerian Dwarf Goats, they care for other animals with health problems.

Not surprisingly, Medeiros says she has received a lot of negative feedback from her Craigslist posting. While she understands the reaction -- especially this close to Thanksgiving -- she is asking for a little compassion for her non-traditional pet. She believes that if Jerry were a dog, a cat, or even a horse, people would respond differently. Some people, however, have responded differently: As of Monday, she has received about $200 in donations to save Jerry's eyesight.

Getting In The Zone...

I'm carbing up for my run tomorrow morning. My carbs have included:
-peppermint chocolate chip milkshake
-stromboli (my mom's...it's the best!)

What do you mean those are the wrong type of carbs???

Get Crunk

Rehab isn't going so well. I ate 4 doughnuts today. Not the mini powdered doughnuts either. Full size, fully glazed Krispy Kreme Hot-And-Now Doughnuts. They melted in my mouth. So I put another one in. It melted too. So I repeated the process. And then again. I was going to eat another one but everyone knows that it's unlucky to eat an uneven number of doughnuts and there was only one left. All this took place in approximately 22 minutes. I think I'm going to need inpatient rehab.

Hope Renewed

Just when I'd given up hope that nice people actually existed (perhaps a slight exaggeration...), people go and surprise me with kindness. Between the hours of about...6 and 8 pm on Saturday, people pretty much sucked. I did not so much care that you were canceling plans with me but I did care that you made no attempt to reschedule because you know what? I wasn't excited about the pizza or the hanging out at your place or whatever...I was excited because I got to hang out with you and that's what I was really looking forward to. And you stomped on my hope. Just like Dr. Not-So-Dreamy-Anymore's office did. You are all a bunch of dreamcrushers. And that's not nice. I was just starting to think "Boy, that's what I get for actually looking forward to something."
Luckily, I encountered 2 really good groups of people today and made me realize that niceness is still in existence. (Not to say that some of you others are not nice, I just didn't get to experience your niceness today)
1. I really like the people I work with. Even if some things work my nerves, overall they are very nice. I think the 3/4 bag of cheddar & sour cream potato chips and coke may have helped, but they made today bearable when it didn't seem to be heading in that direction.
2. My neighbors rock. They invited me over for a delicious (and not at all healthy!) meal of yummy brown rice, creamy chicken and croissants. Then, they are letting me borrow their dog crate since mine is monstrously huge and a pain to get in/out of my car. That smaller crate will help make my trip so much easier.
So, thank you to both groups of people for reinstilling my hope and faith in people.

I do not feel like blogging anymore this month. Maybe next month will be NaDoPoBloMo

I do not like you...

I do not like people. I have had so many people disappoint me or upset me or cancel plans on me in the past...oh...5 hours. I want to curl up in my bed and stay there for the next 3 days until I can leave town and forget all about you people.

Absolutely Positively No Willpower

I have none. So far today (it's 5:04) I have consumed:
-one original glazed doughnut
-one glazed doughnut with chocolate icing and fall colored sprinkles
-a coke
-2 yellow cupcakes with chocolate icing
-water

How am I not 702 pounds?

Update: (10:04p)
-coke. Lots of coke.
-mushroom soup
-the better part of 2 8" pizzas

Addicted...

I think I'm an addict. I can't stop consuming sugary things. I try to not get soda...but my mind says "water!"...my mouth says "coke!" Now I'm craving a yellow cupcake with chocolate icing. Seriously...I've been thinking about said cupcake for approximately 3 hours now. And I say I want just one, but if I had 6 in front of me, I'm pretty sure I would eat all 6. And still want more. I need to go to rehab.

*Puff Puff* PASS!

Smokers annoy me. Seriously...you stink! I try to avoid them when I can, but when I'm at work that's not always an option. When I'm cleaning someone's teeth, I'm all up in their personal space and they are in mine. So, when you come in smelling like you spritzed smoke all over yourself as though it were perfume...I smell it! And when your teeth look like you swished with tobacco, I get to clean that off. And, while I certainly earn my pay when I have a smoker in my chair, it still makes me mad. Give it up already...it's bad for you, it's bad for me, it's bad for everyone. Stop being gross.

Jump, Then Fall

So I went on a faux date last night...sadly it was way better than any real dates that I've gone on recently.
-He sat on the same side of the booth as me (something I normally would dislike with my personal space issues but for some reason it worked for him)
-He gave me a head massage (again, normally not a fan of being touched...)
-He held my hand (again with the touching....)
-It was fun and relaxed and there was no forced conversation or oversharing of stuff like (and yes...this really was said to me on a date) "Well I broke up with my last girlfriend because she was Russian and when it came time to do the deed, she didn't want me to wear any, um, you know..."
-He shaved his legs for me! (ok...maybe not for me, but I'll think that it was)

Too bad it was all for play....

Things to Keep to Yourself....

So as a hygienist, people will tell you some crazy stuff. They think of you as their therapist. I don't feel the information train should go two ways. I prefer to not tell them every little detail of my life...
Some information I have heard mentioned that should not have crossed another hygienist's lips:
My chin hairs are long enough to braid. I need to remember to pluck them.
My period just started. I need to run to the bathroom.

I'm sure there will be more to add to that list as you never know what's going to pass through her lips.

I'm a Finger Rubber

So I had a really good post tonight but my dog decided that she needed a 30 minute walk before she could pee...and now I'm tired. So I'll have to wait until tomorrow to tell you about my faux-date. Try not to hold your breath waiting on it!

A sad day....

I found out I didn't get the job that I was so excited about and so sure that I would get. I mean, they knew how much I wanted to work with them. They knew that they were my dream job. Why would they toy with me like this? Why call me up (that's right, they called me!) and say "Hey, when are you available to work? We're getting rid of Laura."? Why play with my emotions? If you knew you were looking at one other person, why not just figure out who you're going to hire and not even mention it to me if you decide on her? I get their reasoning and it makes sense but I still don't like their decision. She has assisting experience and I don't. This doesn't mean I have to like their decision. They are no longer my dream office because dream offices don't stomp hearts.

*scratch, scratch, scratch*

I went to dinner with a friend tonight....and he scratched his balls. At the table. I mean, it was Mexican...so it's not THAT inappropriate. But, really buddy...you shouldn't scratch your balls at the table. It's kinda inappropriate. Especially when you reach into the chip basket afterwards.

*side note* That's just how he is, I am in no way, shape, or form complaining because that's just how he is. Not trying to change ya buddy because you rock the way you are(even if that does include public ball scratching).

Let's Have A Word...

Let's talk about Mom Jeans. At what point in your life do you have that turning point where you think it is ok to wear mom jeans? Everyone knows what I'm talking about...pants up at least an inch above your belly button, pulled up too high, showing off your camel toe. At least a 7 inch zipper. And always in that horrid wash. Do you really think that mom jeans hide your baby pooch? Because it doesn't.

Is it Thanksgiving yet?

I am really craving some stuffing...and pumpkin pie. Mmmmmmmm

NaBloPoMo

NaBloPoMo...I got this. Last year, you were difficult, I had to search for things to talk about. But this year, I feel like things are good. Each day is a new adventure so I have plenty to discuss. Like, I know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm done with dental hygiene. But no more school for me! I want to be an MMA fighter. Yeah, that's right. I want to beat people up for a living.

Oh...and I got a pretty new ring that I like! I don't normally wear rings, but I really like this one.

Let Me Eat Cake!

Happy Birthday Casey! Hope it's a great one...I'll eat some cake since you're probably dieting and can't!


(side note: Isn't this a really good picture of me??? I rarely say that about pictures so please don't think I'm being full of myself!)

I'm Right

Stuffing is inside the bird Dressing is outside the bird even though they are the same thing.

Phase 1: check!

Went over to EVO for pizza tonight, completing Phase 1 of PizzaQuest '09. It was awesome! First off, I love the atmosphere there, it's a small place in downtown North Charleston (who knew that existed!) with lots of charm. The crust was a little floppy but the taste of the pizza more than made up for the sogginess. They achieved a nice balance between the saltiness of the crust and the sweetness of the sauce. The pizza is topped with the perfect amount of cheese, where other places have problems with either too little or too much. The wait staff was nice, and very helpful but towards the end of the night seemed to be hovering, urging us out of the door. At the end of Phase 1 the standings are:
1. Mia Pomodori
Monza
3. EVO
4. Famulari's
5. D'Allesandro's
6. Al di La
7. Mellow Mushroom
8. Andolini's

sleepy

Fat Guy Diary This is one of my patients, I would not have recognized him as the guy in the picture!

crappers....

How did BBB AND the guy from Saturday night pop back up?
In other news, I am completely unable to hold an intelligent conversation with Neighbor Boy. He is certainly not that good looking. It doesn't help that when I run into him, I seem to be wearing my retainer and glasses. and not wearing a bra. and have crazy hair. The latest snafu:
Him: (rolling hose out) Morning
Me: Hey, you about to wash your car?
Him: (looking at car, clearly parked in garage) No.

In my defense, he was about to wash his house. And who washes their house with a garden hose?

Caption This...

Sorry buddy but I can't resist making fun of this one. You know I love and adore you...but really?

Catch Up Time

So Pizza Quest '09 has not been abandoned. I've just been lazy and not posting.
Mellow Mushroom: I was a little disappointed. Mellow Mushroom is one of my favorite pizza places. They have crazy pizzas, with Funky Q Chicken, The Caesar!, and Magical Mystery Tour topping my list of favorites. Unfortunately, I had to toss the tasty memory of cheesy deliciousness from my mind. This was based solely on the cheese pizza. The pizza was...eh. The cheese tasted kinda waxy. The crust is delicious, made from spring water dough. (whatever that means, it equals goodness!) The staff at Mellow never seems thrilled to be there and like you coming in to order pizza is an inconvenience. The pizza was fairly inexpensive at $12 and it was definitely big enough for us to have leftovers.
Must go watch Desperate Housewives and get to bed...so tomorrow, will tell you all about Famulari's and Al Di La, saving the best for last: Monza.

Dating is lame...

So I'm back from my date that I did not want to go on. Not a love match. Not even a friend match. But I tried. I went out, I was my nice, charming, usual self...and it sucked.

So tired!

I'm so tired! Woke up at 6:30 am (it's a Saturday...anyone see a problem?) to go to a pancake breakfast with 16 kids. 16. Between the ages of 8-12. They wear me out! They were good but just running around, trying to keep track of them...whew! I'm sleepy.

I also miss my friend, Bumblebee. Haven't talked to him in like 2 weeks. Not sure why we aren't talking. Don't know what happened there...

Don't make me!

I have a date tomorrow night. I do not want to go. I know that I'm going into it with the wrong attitude but it's not about the guy. It's about dating in general. Right at the moment, I'm just feeling it's not worth it. I mean, what do you get out of dating? You date for a while, you break up....a bunch of hassle and pretty much for nothing. Even if BB (different from BBB) asked if I wanted to go out, I'd feel the same way. And I would have given my left foot to date him a couple months ago. Now, I just have a feeling of dread and the slight taste of vomit in my throat.

It's pizza time!

So I really need to do a PizzaQuest '09 update...I have 4 places to report on since my last post! But I'm really really tired so they will have to wait for tomorrow. I will tell you the standings though:

1. (tied) Mia Pomodori
Monza
3. Famulari's
4. D'Allesandro
5. Al Di La
6. Mellow Mushroom
7. Andolini's

There is one more to try, then on to Round 2. I'm ready to start eating something other than a margherita pizza!

Sassy!

huh? Bad idea!

Who would sign up for this? Doesn't this seem like a bad thing to investigate?

Dear Volunteer:

I am conducting a clinical research study at Coastal Carolina Research Center in Goose Creek to evaluate the effectiveness of an investigational oral contraceptive.
To be considered for participation in this research study, you must be between the ages of 18 and 40, (if you smoke up to the age of 35) and be willing to take the study contraceptive as your primary method of birth control and be otherwise generally healthy. Medical staff at my site and I will review additional criteria with you to determine if you’re eligible.

If you are eligible and decide to participate, you can expect 10 office visits over approximately 14 months. You will be asked to maintain a study diary. All qualified participants will receive, at no cost, all study-related:

* Study contraceptive
* Physical Exams
* Lab work

Monetary compensation up to $380 will be provided if you qualify. We appreciate your spirit of volunteerism and would welcome you to share this study opportunity with any of your friends.

If you are interested, know someone who may be interested in this study, or have general questions about clinical research, please contact the Coastal Carolina Research Center at 843/856-3784, or check out our new website www.coastalcarolinaresearch.com and sign up for the study online under the Volunteer Section in the link called “Current Studies”.

Sincerely,

Cynthia B. Strout, MD
Medical Director

November 30 yet???

So I have some potentially good news that would seriously make me the happiest girl in the whole wide world but I have to wait for tomorrow for the news to be confirmed. If this came true...I might pee myself a little bit. It would be beyond exciting.

Little things :)

Little things make me smile in my new place. I like my ice. I have super cool ice trays shaped like fish, flowers, and stars...and it rocks!

20 and counting...

I have pretty much decided it's not worth it to deal with BBB. Not because I'm worried about hurting his feelings/using him. I'm ok with that part of it. But he's a little too clingy for my tastes. For the past 3 days I have heard from him 5-10 times a day. He just wants to talk...no you don't, I know what you want and I'm not interested. That's why I keep blowing you off and/or not answering your constant calls/texts. Not sure if he'd get to the point of driving by my house (don't think so, he didn't do it before...but he wasn't quite as clingy in the past either)...but I'm not really up for a stalker.
So he called yesterday and said if I wanted to drop by BB they would be slow and we could talk. I, of course, didn't answer the phone and haven't heard from him since which is really good news.